The WOMBen Collective™

My Miscarriage Story: Finding Healing and Reclaiming My Soul After Loss | Daisy May Reyes

• Daisy May Reyes, CCHt, NLPP, TT

Share episode

Disclaimer: The content shared in this interview and blog post reflects Daisy May Reyes' personal experiences and perspectives. The information provided is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice. Individuals are encouraged to seek the guidance of qualified healthcare providers for any specific concerns or conditions. Trigger Warning: This solo interview discuss sensitive topics related to pregnancy loss, miscarriage, and the emotional aftermath. The content may be triggering for some listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, loss, or mental health challenges, please seek support from a qualified professional or reach out to a crisis hotline in your area.

Join Daisy May Reyes in the WOMBen Collective™ Podcast as she shares her personal journey of healing after experiencing miscarriages in 2018 and 2019. Daisy, an energy healer, certified miscarriage doula, and clinical hypnotherapist, opens up about her emotions, the impact on her marriage, and how she found solace through holistic methods. She discusses her experiences with meditation, EMDR, and various self-healing practices that led to spiritual growth and reconnection with her higher self and spirit babies. Daisy also offers practical tips for those navigating similar grief, aiming to guide others towards their own healing paths. Stay tuned for more episodes every Monday, with the official podcast launch on September 1st.


00:00 Introduction to the WOMBen Collective™ Podcast

00:28 Daisy's Background and Expertise

00:51 Personal Journey Through Miscarriages

03:24 First Miscarriage Experience

07:33 Second Miscarriage and Its Impact

19:09 Emotional Aftermath and Coping Mechanisms

30:18 Path to Healing and Self-Discovery

34:04 Spiritual Insights and Quantum Healing

37:18 Final Thoughts and Message to Listeners



______________________________________________________________________________________________________

The WOMBen Collective™ Podcast is a space for women to share their stories and find inspiration. If you'd like to be a part of this community, be sure to subscribe and join us for new episodes every Monday.

Become A Guest

Do you have a story you'd like to share on the WOMBen Collective™ Podcast? I'd love to hear from you. Visit wombencollective.com to apply and be featured on an upcoming episode.

1:1 Services

If you're interested in exploring holistic healing practices like quantum healing, energy healing, past life regression, or spirit baby communication, I'd be honored to work with you. You can learn more about my services at daisymayreyes.com

Are you seeking support for pregnancy loss or bereavement? I offer specialized services as a certified miscarriage doula and clinical hypnotherapist. Schedule a consultation with me to see how I can help at oversoulvibration.com

Group Support

Join us inside for monthly group energy healing and guided angel baby meditation at angelbabyhealing.com

Welcome to the WOMBen Collective™ podcast presented by the Oversoul Vibration™. Welcome back to the WOMBen Collective™ Podcast. I'm Daisy May Reyes, your host. Just a little bit of a background about me before we start. I'm an energy healer, a certified miscarriage doula, and a certified clinical hypnotherapist. I specialize in quantum healing, past life regression, spirit baby communication, higher self connection, And also bereavement support for pregnancy loss mothers or parents. Today, I'll be sharing my own story about how I found healing after the miscarriages that I went through in 2018 and 2019 through holistic methods. And I also want to leave with you practical tips that I found helpful during my time of crisis. So if you are here, it's likely because you've been through the same, or perhaps you're seeking some answers. And I hope that my story will give you some insights to at least where to start. So let's dive in. There is one emotion that I was very familiar with and that's anger. I remember anger very well. I used to have a very bad temper. It wasn't something I was proud of. It's actually one of the reasons my marriage ended. So when I lost my babies. My unborn babies to back to back early miscarriages, both at 10 weeks one was in the summer of 2018 and then the second one in the winter of 2019. The disappointments from trying for months using artificial insemination or intrauterine insemination that only increased the anger that was building up inside because I couldn't reach the answers as to why these misfortunes are happening or why I couldn't maintain a pregnancy. Not only that, the conception became more like a task, like an obligation rather than welcoming a new life into this world. So my ex husband and I, we never acknowledge d That lovemaking or babymaking as a sacred process of bringing life into this world we just thought of it as an obligation to, to bring a pregnancy. So, after ending the treatments the IUI treatments, I made a decision that would protect me. I thought it would protect me from avoiding grief and because I didn't want to feel the pain or remember the heartache. I just stopped it all the way. If I may, I want to use this space to be vulnerable and share what happened in my 1st miscarriage in 2018. So. That one wasn't as traumatic as my second miscarriage in 2019. I experienced mild bleeding after our long day trip. And this day trip was part of the road trip challenge that we participated on the weekend. Basically we have, I believe, 30 days to explore Oklahoma. And so what my ex husband and I did was we, every weekend we would go on a day trip and I was in my early pregnancies. And I thought, you know, I wasn't really thinking about miscarriage. I was just happy. I was pregnant. I was, I was beaming. I was, I was glowing. I was just full of joy. And as we go on to these trips, and one of the road trips was going to this town where they have the air balloon, the hot air balloon. So we jumped into one of those hot air balloon. We stayed there in line for, for hours. And when we finally got there, you know, it lifted up and then it just went. Stay there for like a couple minutes and then we went, we came down and so we had fun that day. We went to a festival. There's a fair in that little town. But, we came back from that trip, I experienced some minor bleeding and I thought maybe this is normal, right? Like it's part of the pregnancy. So it, I never really thought about losing a pregnancy. So I went to the ER. That evening it just wouldn't stop. they sent me home. They didn't do anything, they just told me it's normal, you know, it's still early. The baby still looked fine, but they told me the heart rate was very low. And so they did some tests and that's when they had to send me to My general practitioner to my doctor and, and referred me to, I guess one of the OBGYN and from there she had to bear the bad news that we may have to lose the baby. So, she gave me two options, either we take, the pill, we do it naturally, or we do a DNC surgery. So, the doctor recommended that. I give DNC a try. And so that's the option that we both decided. And the surgery went well. I never saw the remains of my unborn baby. I've been to so many surgeries and that was my first. so I thought to myself, it's like a normal surgery. And I was sad and I didn't develop grief right away. I didn't develop certain attachments yet although I was just disappointed because we bought the crib although it wasn't set up yet. It was still in the box. I had taken home the, you know, the ultrasound pictures, the sonogram pictures and I had it framed and I even named our baby. So when that happened, I think I was just feeling disappointment. I think that's the feeling that I was feeling, disappointment because I have that expectation that I will carry this pregnancy. So we tried again, my ex husband and I tried again. But in the winter of 2019, it was a little bit more different. After the miscarriage in 2018, I was in the middle of a very stressful work environment, and there was a lot of deadlines and I was managing a lot of people supervising a lot of projects. So it was a very stressful time. So and at the same time, we were also trying to conceive for our baby. I got pregnant again. It was a miracle. Because our doctor told us to wait three months after the DNC and we did and, and then on our I guess our couple attempts, you know, I got pregnant again. So I was excited and happy I was able to, bring my excitement again and my joy back again and I was glowing and happy When I went to see the doctor again to check on the eighth week they noticed that the heart has stopped beating And basically all they saw when they printed the sonogram it looked like there was nothing there. They had a picture, of my little unborn baby there in the first 6 weeks and the heart was healthy, but then on the 8th week when they did the ultrasound, they couldn't find it anymore and they called it a blighted ovum. And what it means is that the baby has stopped developing and what remains is the sac. It's an empty sac. And I was clinging to hope, you know it was already December, Christmas, and my belly is, it's slightly showing, so I was really holding on to hope, and I was praying that my Christmas present would be carrying this pregnancy, and New Year has passed, and the weeks came. What happens next is , during the time that I was pregnant, during the time that I was diagnosed with blighted ovum I was also preparing for the Incoming staff and he's a very important member of the organization, so we had to hold a celebration, a welcome ceremony, a welcome ceremony. So I was in charge of the welcome ceremony. So the day before the ceremony, I decided to help downstairs down the basement because that's where we hold the ceremonies and we set up chairs move tables around. I was organizing the seating arrangements and all that. So we even have the stage and as we we're moving the chairs around and I started to feel pain in the abdomen and when that pain happened, I kind of felt like it was time that I think this is it. I'm, I'm about to lose the pregnancy. I'm about to lose my baby. The doctor gave us at eight weeks, during my eight week doctor's visit, the doctor gave me an

option:

either to carry this pregnancy or do a DNC now. She found that the blighted ovum doesn't pose a risk, so it's okay for me to carry it. However, because it's, it's deteriorating the, the fetus inside the sack, it may cause more problem for me. So and I said, I, it's that, that I, I would like to just carry and not proceed with the DNC. And I didn't know that by choosing that option, that. It's like a pain that I would, I could never imagine. It's a pain that is more painful than a menstrual cramp. It's like 10 times worse. I thought that I was having, I was going through labor. That's how it felt like. So I had to get excused from work. It was 11 in the morning, so I had to be rushed at home. I didn't go into, I, I, I should have went to an ambulance, but what I did was I just called my ex-husband picked me up and we went straight to the er. And this is going to be graphic, everyone. And from the er they had to I think they gave me meds. To help push to the sack and to go into labor and while that was going through my system, they took me to the ultrasound. And the ultrasound, that was the most traumatic experience ever, because I have never seen so much blood. There's so much blood everywhere. Everything was, I was actually more concerned for the nurse than myself that, like, I was feeling so embarrassed that I'm, that there's so many blood and, and I just want to, like, get down the, I just want to get down the the chair to, to, to wipe it all out. But that was the most painful memory that I had. By that time I was very calm. I was very calm. I was more concerned about the nurse and I was more concerned about feeling embarrassed about, you know, making this, the place covered in blood. And and my ex husband, my poor ex husband was sitting in the corner, you know, witnessing all of that. But when I asked the question how is my baby? The nurse didn't even look at me. She had a blank stare. And That was kind of like, I mean, my, my validation her facial expression validated my thoughts that I, I really lost the baby, you know, the eighth week visit at the doctor, I wasn't believing it. You know, I was clinging to hope but once I was in the ER, once I was in the ER and I saw her face and she didn't respond to me with a straight answer, that's when my heart sank. So, but now I can, you know, I may cry a little bit. I may remember that time. But I feel like I can easily move forward with that memory. Back then, I just tucked it all away. Back then, I just was so determined to move on as quickly as possible and forget all of that. Immediately after being discharged from the hospital, maybe a couple days or so after, you know, I, I feel a lot better. There was a nurse in the hospital that was helping me. So as soon as I moved from the ER, they moved me to the inpatient rooms and so I was assigned a nurse and this nurse, I will never forget her. I think I had to do a lot of forgiveness work between me and her, because the way that she treated me inside that room was very kind of rude in a way where I was in pain and I had to constantly, you know, change pads and I was just basically waiting for my unborn baby to pass. And so, because I, I was doing this naturally, they gave me the pill. So they have to make me go into the the bathroom and to catch the fetus. And this is going to be graphic, everyone. She would come and check the, the little container And she would be upset that I haven't passed it, like, it's like, I don't know, like, she, she gives me that, that vibe that she just wants me out there that, you know, I'm making her job more difficult because you know, I'm not doing my part, I guess, you know, as a patient, I don't know, but, but she's giving me that vibe that, you know, why,"why can't I pass the baby already" type of thing. That made me so sad and so heartbroken and like no one cared for me and, and I was away from my family, you know, I was in Oklahoma. My whole family is, is in another state and I, I wish. I could just hold my mom right now. And at that time, you know, my ex husband was only in and out of the hospital. So, so I've really felt so alone and not to mention this nurse, this particular nurse was giving me that rude vibe. So, so finally I finally passed the baby. I couldn't even see what my baby looked like. And. And I don't remember crying. I don't remember feeling anything. I felt it was weird. You know, usually I would grieve. Usually mothers would grieve instantly. But when I, I felt like I was in shock. I think that's what it felt like because I didn't shed any tears. I, I, I just kind of like stood there and, and I looked at this big lump of blood. And And, and I thought to myself, this was my baby. And so I went to bed, you know, they, they told me to leave the container so they could pick it up. And I went to bed and I don't remember saying goodbye to my baby. I just, I was so tired, I went to sleep. And then the following couple of days I was discharged and I was happy because I don't have to see that nurse again. I was home recovering for a couple more days, but as soon as I was discharged, I immediately went back to work because I thought that by keeping myself busy, I would not have to feel or remember anything and I could just push all of that away. And Not only that, I even, I even started a part time online shop but that shop is no longer available. It's not existent right now. But I created a schedule so packed that it has no room for me. Or even my ex husband. It has no time for me to have fun, It has no time for me to spend time with my ex husband. It was just a time for me to just forget. And when I showed him my schedule, And I had it in a pretty little card, you know, like, Hey, this is Monday through Sunday and this are my schedule. And then I actually have like a little window for us, you know, like to spend time. And he looked at me with disbelief and he just stormed out of the room upset. And I thought he would understand, you know because I believe that if I kept myself occupied, then I would outrun the pain. And I thought he would understand that, but what I didn't realize was that I was also pushing him away unintentionally. I was pushing him and his emotions away. I was disregarding his emotions too. I was so focused on just keeping myself together that that by the time that I realized what I was doing in our relationship, it was already too late for both of us to reconcile. We were already falling apart. And later I learned that my ex husband was grieving too. I didn't know. I was too busy. You know, trying to push away whatever I was feeling. I didn't even know I was grieving at that time. So I don't know what grief was like. So I didn't know signs that my ex husband was showing me that he was grieving, you know, and I wish I knew, and if I knew maybe it could have, you know, saved our marriage, I guess, but I don't know, I was just too busy numbing down and not feeling anything. You know, he never really communicated his grief or his emotions after the two miscarriages. And all I know is he's just very good at not showing his emotions anyway, so, and at the same time I was consumed by my own emotions of overwhelm, of shock, of, of whatever that I couldn't describe. And basically I was just in my own reality. And completely ignoring him too. So I just didn't know that he was grieving for real. And I was truly unaware or maybe perhaps I just failed to see. And when the time came for both of us to sign our divorce papers, he finally confessed to me that he was mourning. When he said that, I felt so guilty for not recognizing it soon enough. And I, I always ask this question. I still remember it five years ago." Would I have saved my marriage if I did?" And and that question always haunted me because I knew it was impossible for us. He really wanted children and my inability to give him that pushed us apart. I was afraid, I was afraid to face the truth. I was afraid to disappoint both of us by staying in our marriage. And so the guilt of ignoring this grief eventually caught up with me. So by the time that I realized how much I had shut him out. It was already too late for both of us. And unfortunately, I lost him along with my unborn babies. And that tripled my guilt. It became so overwhelming. I felt like I was spiraling. I was losing everything. That was the darkest moment of my life. And I felt so alone with no children, no husband, no family. But just me and the grief that I had tried so hard to avoid. And yet here it is right in my face. So for a while I thought I must, I thought to myself that I might lose myself too. That the weight of this overwhelming grief and all the emotions that follows would crush me completely. So when my marriage ended, numbness took over. I stopped feeling emotions like grief, anger, sadness, and that was very surprising to me because I was the one that I was always angry, you know, and I was always angry and, then all of a sudden, I just felt numb. I stopped feeling emotions altogether. And I didn't realize how much these emotions that I was trying to avoid had slowly taken control of my life. And the reason why I say that is because it started creating problems for me. You know, during my isolation, I, I started to lose interest in power lifting, which was my favorite hobby and, and. To this day, it is still my favorite hobby and but when I was in the middle of that trauma I lost interest in it altogether and I lost all my motivation and many things that had once been important to me. So everything kind of like lost meaning and I became consumed by the very emotions that I was trying to avoid and I had no control over. So for a while, I convinced myself that numbing was working. The numbing down was working. So I went back to work, you know, after the divorce, like, as if it was, you know, Nothing as if it was just like a regular transaction. I kept my head down. I did my job. I didn't talk about the miscarriages or the painful divorce, you know, but it's funny how Grief has a way of creeping back in when you least expect it. So, so one day I stopped at Starbucks on my way to work and I ordered my favorite caramel macchiato. It had been so long since I, I had coffee because back then when I was pregnant, I I couldn't have coffee, so I avoid, I avoided it entirely, right, so everything that I couldn't eat or couldn't drink I was very disciplined to not eat or drink them. I was very good at it. So I was driving to work I was driving on a highway and at the same time I was sipping the coffee. And then all of a sudden, I just started crying, like tears started coming out and, and I have the uncontrollable cry. It's like almost like I was almost out of breath. And that's, I still remember that, that type of cry, like, like I couldn't explain it, it was just an outburst of emotion and, and tears. And I was screaming inside a car as I was driving to work. What happened that day is that when I looked at that Starbucks cup and I, and I remembered the sip of that coffee, there's this first thing I said to myself, when I had that sip of coffee, I told myself," Oh my God, I could finally drink coffee because when I was pregnant, I couldn't." And when I said that, that's when it's like the time stopped. Like I was in a highway. And, and everything was moving so fast and I was kind of like stuck and then I started bursting crying. I started crying uncontrollably. And the first thing that I said, After coming coming back to, to reality, I told myself, "I can't go back to work like this," you know, because I'm a mess, you know, and so I went to work anyway. I had to, I forced myself to, to put on a happy face, pretending that nothing was wrong. But deep inside I was falling apart. I realized that day, I couldn't keep living like that, where I had to always put on a fake face, you know, pretending to be okay when I'm not showing up to people, not, not telling, you know, the real me versus the ones that, that is wearing a mask. I was so done with avoiding what I was feeling because that moment on the highway, it gave me that feeling of that burst and it felt like that grief wanted to come out. I knew I couldn't let grief take everything from me. Something inside me refused to give up. And despite that overwhelming loss. Of back to back miscarriages, I knew I couldn't let grief take everything from me again. So I began the painful process of reconnecting with myself and allowing myself to, to feel the emotions again that I had been running away from for so long. And I could tell you it wasn't easy. There were days when the grief felt so unbearable, but I kept going. And throughout that process, I developed an intense desire to be free, to be liberated and to rebuild myself after the loss. My healing began when I started to truly feel. My healing began when I chose to feel the emotions. So back in 2020, I met with one therapist and he gave me two options. He said, meditation or medication. I said to him, " I want to try meditation first, and then we'll decide if I need medication." So through meditation, I began to learn what these emotions really are. And what I found is that these emotions that I was feeling, they are simply energies passing through during my moments of loss and these emotions or these energies attached themselves to me. Unfortunately, without awareness, these energies, they began to take over my life, and they led me to the darkest period I've ever experienced. So, during that meditation, I was gaining awareness of what emotions are and I was expanding my consciousness leading me to discover myself from within. And so as I was in that process of discovering myself and learning about spirituality, my therapist, he introduced me to EMDR. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. And that's when everything changed for me in addition to meditation. So that one session of EMDR helped me release the connections between the buried emotions that I tried to avoid and then the numbness which I used to bury the emotions. So also PS, I'm only sharing my own experience with EMDR. So, so please do your research. So after that one session, I started my own self healing practices, such as meditation, self hypnosis, sound healing, chakra healing, and energy healing. So I was able to release the remaining emotions that I had bottled up inside me and I began to see things as they truly are without any filter. I no longer blame myself for the miscarriages. I Don't blame myself anymore for the marriage that ended and, and I gained spiritual understanding and clarity about my life and circumstances. Not only that, I grew closer to God. I learned more about my higher self and I connected deeply with my spirit guides, my guardian angels. I developed a deep connection also with my spirit babies, you know, my angel babies. And that's because my choice To heal paved the way for me to live in peace and trust that my life's journey has a greater purpose. So on this journey, I discovered a strength within me I never knew existed. And I fought for my soul's freedom. I fought for my soul's deliverance because I had lost so many things in my life.

That past few years:

I lost my unborn babies, I lost my ex husband, I lost our marriage, but I was set on not losing myself after all I've been through, I'm not about to lose my soul or myself. And now I'm in a place where I found my way back to love. It's not the romantic love that, you know, everyone is familiar. But it's a kind of love. It's it's a love for myself. People call it self love. I know it sounds cliche, but that's basically it, right? Like, when do we ever have time to love ourselves? People think self love is indulgence Self love to me, it's just feeling the love. It's really allowing yourself to feel. That's self love. Because after self love there is, there is trust. And that trust comes from the idea that, you know, like, it's okay to, to love yourself up. And if you don't feel like you had it all, there is something beyond us that will take care of us, you know, and that's where our faith comes in. To me, it's a love for myself for the woman who survived the unimaginable heartache and came out stronger on the other side. And I've learned that while I may have lost the ones I love, I lost everything that mattered to me, I don't have to lose myself. I fought hard. I really fought hard to reclaim my soul. And in doing so, I found my way back to love that is deeper and more resilient than anything else. So if you are on a similar journey like me, Know that you don't have to lose yourself to grief. It's okay to feel lost, to take your time finding your way, but don't give up on yourself. You are worth the fight, and you deserve to find your way back to love, too. So, looking back, I realize that everything I went through-- the heartbreak, the grief, the anger, and even the numbness-- They were all part of my journey toward healing, and now I'm in a position where I can offer that same healing to others. So I'm honored to do this work to guide other women and families through their own darkness and into the light of their own healing. Today I want to help women like us who had lost our way and didn't know how to navigate the complexities of our experiences. So the work that I do in quantum healing as an energy healer and clinical hypnotherapist, they are important to me in helping you release the emotions that became trapped in your body. When you experience pregnancy loss or baby loss, these emotions can manifest. We don't know how to process them as they arise, and they leave us with so many unanswered questions, and through my work, I also help mothers and parents connect with their spirit baby. This is why I created the Oversoul Vibration™. Just as the name suggests, I help women who have experienced such deep trauma of loss involving pregnancy or any loss in any manner to return back to their soul. And as an energy healer, I believe that we are all energies and, these energies, they vibrate into this beautiful frequencies of love, of hope, and peace. I guide all of you to returning back to your soul. And in that way, you can also connect with your spirit baby in so doing because you see infertility and pregnancy loss can bring up all sorts of emotions. Anger, resentment, feelings of inferiority, lack of support, and just so much more. But here's the thing, these emotions are not who you are. These emotions are just passing through you. And the moment you choose to let emotions pass through you, you'll notice something almost miraculous. You start to feel lighter, freer, liberated, and then clarity begins to emerge from you. I've seen firsthand how anger looks like as an energy in my clients and through my experiences, too, I found that my healing work doesn't just help women release these emotions, but also help them connect with their spirit baby. And I guide them to find peace and closure through the messages that they receive from them, because After understanding my own emotions and learning about myself on a deeper spiritual level, I set the spiritual foundations for my healing. It helped me understand more about reincarnation and the afterlife. So this deep understanding helped me realize that I have been reborn countless times already. In many of those lifetimes, I was a mother and even a grandmother, but in this life, perhaps we are meant to experience the role of motherhood differently. I cannot speak for everyone or other mothers. All I know is the answers will be unique to you. So I ask you this,"what wisdom can you gain from your experience now?" I wish I have an answer right now, but in my quantum healing hypnosis sessions, I help mothers like you find these answers and heal. I work with your subconscious mind to access past lives, hidden memories, and inner wisdom. Through this process, my clients have been able to gain clarity, heal emotional wounds, and find a sense of purpose in their lives. But ultimately, the answers lie within ourselves. We just need to be open to receiving them. So, take some time to give yourself grace. Take some time for self reflection and introspection by means of journaling, meditation, walking out in nature. In doing so, you'll be able to connect with your spiritual side and begin to trust the universe that it has a plan for you. So trust that healing is already here. You are not alone and we love you so much. Sending you all love and light to all of you out there. Thank you for joining me today. If this message resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you. Please leave us a comment. And if you'd like to share your story, please apply here at wombencollective.com Stay tuned for more episodes of the WOMBen Collective™ Podcast. In the next episode, before our official lunch in September, I'll be sharing the story of how I met my spirit babies and how they guided me through my healing process. And so just a quick note, the official lunch of the WOMBen Collective™ Podcast is on September 1st with new episodes on Mondays. So don't forget to subscribe and hit the notification bell below so you don't miss an episode. Sending you love and light your way. See you next time.